Growing up with a sibling is a blessing and a sin. The only problem is you feel them in very distant moments in your life. As the younger of two, i always had the privilege of being the “one who is never to blame but always at fault”. I discovered that power at an early age and used it with all my might. But now, being in my 30s, thousands of miles apart from her, we feel the distance and the need of each other in our lives like never before. It’s a trait ,i believe our parents, inceptioned it in our minds growing up. I’m not saying Nolan stole his idea from his parents, but it’s something to be researched. And it’s not the only thing. Our values, principles and good behavior suddenly popped up in our lives, like a sleeper agent, out of nowhere. But that’s not the point of this. The point is that I grew up in a very traditional way, where men are gentlemen and women are to be respected.
Fast forward a few years and one of the most amazing things happened. Something that has never existed in thousands of years of history. Finally, a woman's voice and opinion is heard and listened too. For me, that’s amazing. From Cleopatra to Joan to Rosa Parks, women have had the power and the strength to be seen as equal to men.
Now, just like not all men are JFK's and Malcom X, not all women are Michelle Obama. And that’s not to be blamed or condemned. I’m all in with the pay gap and all that, but what happens when a simple, traditional guy like me gets “shamed” for not being a gentleman?
I’m using the word “shamed” because it’s very hip and relatable right now, but very wrong at the same time. So let me tell you how it went down. Regular night out, bar hopping, nothing special. Suddenly, the most ultimate urge of going to the bathroom hits me. Like 1960’s roadtrip “are we there yet” kind of need. So I ran to the bathroom. Nothing wrong up until now right? But, as I was making my way through the labyrinth of people hanging out at this bar, i suddenly cut the path and walk ahead of a young girl. Suddenly I get a tiny shove and a “haven’t you heard of ladies first?”. Now, 5 years ago, I swear to God I would have left the establishment, gone to Hornbach, buy a shovel and dig a hole to bury myself with all my shame in it. Now I had two options: 1.Apologise for how inconsiderate I was cause that's not how my daddy raised me or 2.Give her the equalitalk. I just made that up and i like it so go with it. Obviously, i went for option 1, cause that's what a good boy i am. Unfortunately for me, as I walk out the toilet, relieved of my watery stress, I see and hear this young lady complaining still about my behavior but at the same time celebrating her victory over me. Now a sane person would just walk on by. But considering options 1 and 2 from above that were hovering my decision, i said fuck it. Now I won't go on and tell you what happened or the outcome of our quarrel, but I will tell you what I learnt from all of this. We live in a world where kids can’t decide their gender, where being tall might be offensive or being dislexic is accepted. And this world doesn’t go by the rules I grew up with and that if gender equality is what you want, then gender equality is what you’ll get.