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Thomas Gheorghiu
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Living with a non believer.

Being exposed in self isolation is something you come across often, especially in big cities, where people share their lives and living space with others. 

 New York City - It’s been 8 days since i’ve decided to go into self isolation. As one would say, I'm doing my part. The only time I go out is once every 2-3 days, at night, to do some essential grocery shopping. I consider going at night because there’s a smaller chance to interact with anybody, especially the elderly. Sure, there’s less things to be found on the shelves, but I'd rather get through this with frozen foods and over priced vegetables than having to fight over a roll of toilet paper and fresh meat. I cover my mouth, wash my hands, use sanitizer, don’t share the elevator and keep distance. This social distancing isn’t hard if you actually think about those around you, rather than yourself. 

“It’s bullshit, it’s fake, I’m young and I’ll get through this, this is just the way I am and I’m sorry but I can’t be restrained in my own home.” - these are the thoughts that usually flow out of my roommates mouth. As a freelancer, he is one of those who COVID hit him in the balls. No more jobs, period. Past payments that were due, postponed. He is taking each day as a blow under the belt. And I get his anger, it's justified. No one is looking out for him. You read all about the 750 trillion Emergency Economic Stabilization Program, but that’s not for the little guy out there. But this isn’t the reason I started to write this article in the first place. We’ll keep that for another time. I’m doing this because my roommate doesn’t believe that this is real and feels life should go on as normal, is literally doing that on a daily basis.  

A couple of days ago, as I was contemplating on how many seasons I’ll be binge watching today, my roommate, who we’ll call Mr.P from now on, comes out of his room, all dressed up, equipped up to his teeth. Big camera, small camera, backpack, thermos, the works. He was ready to shoot the zombie apocalypse. “I can’t miss this opportunity to go and capture the empty streets of NYC.” - fair point. Can’t argue with that. I mean, if you’re not making any money, at least get some content and put it on Getty. “But aren’t you worried about getting sick?” I asked just like anyone would. Now, what came out of his mouth baffled me out of my mind - “I don’t have time for Corona.” - i was left speechless. 

Next morning, I met him in the kitchen. Curious, I wanted to know how his day went. Asking him before coffee made him forget his obnoxious bullshit for a reason I actually bought and tell me the actual truth. He never shot anything. No empty streets, no abandoned Times Square. He went out on a tinder date. Quality quarantinder time. Obviously, my reaction at first was to smile, but then I realised, I've been spending the last days avoiding any kind of contact, while the person who I share a house with, is completely exposing himself. 

Now I start wondering, what do you do when someone else decides that you’re not in quarantine anymore? It’s NYC, I can't just pack up and leave. I’m not his mother to force him to stay in. Sure, I tried talking, but just like a teenager craving to go to a party on a school night, Mr.P does the opposite of what you try to recommend to him. Whatever news you’d try to show him, he’ll always find a counter article. By all means, I know he’s not the only non-believer, and again, I'm not writing this to discuss sides. I’m just trying to find out if my self isolation, my social distancing counts for anything when the person who lives in the same house as you doesn’t?

I guess that I’ll come with a follow up in 3 to 5 days and let you know. 

Thursday 04.30.20
Posted by Thomas Gheorghiu
 

How to be the perfect gentlewoman.

Growing up with a sibling is a blessing and a sin. The only problem is you feel them in very distant moments in your life. As the younger of two, i always had the privilege of being the “one who is never to blame but always at fault”. I discovered that power at an early age and used it with all my might. But now, being in my 30s, thousands of miles apart from her, we feel the distance and the need of each other in our lives like never before. It’s a trait ,i believe our parents, inceptioned it in our minds growing up. I’m not saying Nolan stole his idea from his parents, but it’s something to be researched. And it’s not the only thing. Our values, principles and good behavior suddenly popped up in our lives, like a sleeper agent, out of nowhere. But that’s not the point of this. The point is that I grew up in a very traditional way, where men are gentlemen and women are to be respected. 

Fast forward a few years and one of the most amazing things happened. Something that has never existed in thousands of years of history. Finally, a woman's voice and opinion is heard and listened too. For me, that’s amazing. From Cleopatra to Joan to Rosa Parks, women have had the power and the strength to be seen as equal to men. 

Now, just like not all men are JFK's and Malcom X, not all women are Michelle Obama. And that’s not to be blamed or condemned. I’m all in with the pay gap and all that, but what happens when a simple, traditional guy like me gets “shamed” for not being a gentleman? 

I’m using the word “shamed” because it’s very hip and relatable right now, but very wrong at the same time. So let me tell you how it went down. Regular night out, bar hopping, nothing special. Suddenly, the most ultimate urge of going to the bathroom hits me. Like 1960’s roadtrip “are we there yet” kind of need. So I ran to the bathroom. Nothing wrong up until now right? But, as I was making my way through the labyrinth of people hanging out at this bar, i suddenly cut the path and walk ahead of a young girl. Suddenly I get a tiny shove and a “haven’t you heard of ladies first?”. Now, 5 years ago, I swear to God I would have left the establishment, gone to Hornbach, buy a shovel and dig a hole to bury myself with all my shame in it. Now I had two options: 1.Apologise for how inconsiderate I was cause that's not how my daddy raised me or 2.Give her the equalitalk. I just made that up and i like it so go with it. Obviously, i went for option 1, cause that's what a good boy i am. Unfortunately for me, as I walk out the toilet, relieved of my watery stress, I see and hear this young lady complaining still about my behavior but at the same time celebrating her victory over me. Now a sane person would just walk on by. But considering options 1 and 2 from above that were hovering my decision, i said fuck it. Now I won't go on and tell you what happened or the outcome of our quarrel, but I will tell you what I learnt from all of this. We live in a world where kids can’t decide their gender, where being tall might be offensive or being dislexic is accepted. And this world doesn’t go by the rules I grew up with and that if gender equality is what you want, then gender equality is what you’ll get. 


Wednesday 11.13.19
Posted by Thomas Gheorghiu
 

Excuse me miss, but may I have your consent to comedy?

Slippery slide i’m getting ready to go down. But here I go. 

2019, here I am, an early millennial, based on the calendar of 9gag and other internet means of measuring more or less anything. I grew up with french anime, Cartoon Network to Sesame street. What a time to be alive. Entertainment and comedy all tied up into fictional characters that taught me how to be brave, how to be kind, how to be polite and most important of all, how to make people laugh. It was my greatest learning and one of the most beautiful things our destructive species has ever created: the power to make other people laugh, smile and be happy. And as I grew older and older, my taste in comedy might have changed, moving to tv series like Seinfeld and Friends to Simpsons and South Park. And throughout these years, trust me, never have i ever seen comedy as something that can hurt, harm or create the social disruptiveness as it does today. “It’s offensive, it’s cruel, it’s uncalled for, it’s rude.'' So that brings me to the question: Are people offended or are they just calling out for even more attention? 

I recently went to a stand-up, and i love to pick out the first row seats. I do it to be picked on. Why? Not to answer back, to be the politically auto correct of the room. I do it because it says something about me. Like an artist painting a model in front of him, I want to be the mona lisa of a comedian, his muse, his inspiration from where he creates his show. Crazy? Maybe, but the path to self knowledge is through the eyes of those who are watching. And if I can learn anything about myself from what this artist sees in me, so be it. 

Unfortunately, just like any kind of art, or horror movies, or the church, not everything is for everybody. And that’s totally fine. But people, if you do choose to embrace comedy, embrace it with the same passion you embrace any form of art. No one told Arnold that being pregnant isn’t funny, or Johnny Bravo making Yo Mama jokes was inappropriate. It was made in good humor, it was fictional, not addressed to a certain person, or gender, or race, but addressed to us as human beings, with no barriers, no constraints, no social seatbelts. 

As an early millennial i want to thank comedy for making me the man I am today, and I wish it would never change, no matter what is changing around us. If you don’t like something, it’s in your power to do or not do something. But if you don’t, if it’s not for you, don’t ruin it for everyone else. 


Wednesday 11.13.19
Posted by Thomas Gheorghiu
 

When i grow up, i want to be just like you Da...vid Beckham.

Taking a trip down memory lane, the first thing that comes to my mind a young kid growing up in the streets of Bucharest was to one day be a footballer. It was 1999 when I shed my first tear for the sport. When it planted itself into my heart and opened my eyes to the incredible world of kicking a ball on a field with other boys to finally hit the ball between two posts to actually score a point. Sounds stupid but graceful in the same time. It was the place you’d assert yourself in the school yard, in the eyes of your friends, of the girls, of yourself...but never in the eyes of your parents. No sir, when it came to mum and dad, nothing made their heart break more than me coming home with another note from school saying I've been skipping classes to play the beautiful game. Looking back, they should be happy, i mean, at least i wasn’t in a gang, or selling drugs or just wasting my time listening to Tokio Hotel, contemplating whether my life has meaning. No, i was playing sports. But that’s the thing, at least if I was doing it in a “gang” way of doing things. An organised, controlled atmosphere where I can exert my “expertise”. I was just playing it on the streets with no sense of direction or guidance, just like a mime on Las Ramblas who thinks standing still is an actual skill. And why? Well according to my dad, being a football player back then meant you’ll grow up mentally challenged. Now, I'm no hypocrite, they’re not the brightest stars in the sky, but thats based on exactly what i’m going to talk about...education.

When you think about it, education is what made me who I am. But is my father's sense of education the same thing as another parents? Is the fact that i can tell you all the 50 capitals of Europe making me any better than a kid who scored 50 goals a season for his boyhood club? We grow up with this mentality of knowledge as a benchmark of being successful. Doctors go through a lifetime of schooling, engineers have to move faster than the internet to keep up or even teachers who by the time they finish school, they’re behind with what's going on around them. And for what? We see footballers making the amount they would in a lifetime in what? 1 year? Maybe 2? And that brings me to the question: Is it fair? 

But how exactly do we measure this fairness? The books we read? The hours spent in school? Does being smarter make you more worthy of making more money? Or is it what each and every individual can bring to the table when it comes to other people? I believe in the value of emotions. It’s the best selling product of our generation. Give a homeless guy a sandwich, he’ll put it in his bag, give him a beer, he’ll sleep happy. Why? Because that point he has reached in life gives him less emotion to living and more to shortcutting. And that’s where we are today. We live in a world where coming home from school, surrounded by merchandise, advertising, glam, products, buy buy buy, won’t make a growing young boy want to aspire to being smart, but to aspire to being smarter.  

Education is what we chose to educate in our own lives, and it will only grow based on who you have around you to do so. So do footballers deserve bigger salaries than teachers right now? Sure, because who taught them to be who they are today are much better tutors than the ones teachers have. 


Wednesday 11.13.19
Posted by Thomas Gheorghiu
 

Side by Side

You think you have all that it takes?

You think you have all that you want?

You feel happy, but do you really?

Peace is not enough you know!

Thinking that it’s all ok,

Going over day by day,

Living with the one you love

Or, do you? Is he, Can he be?

Or is there more to life than this

More to see, more to feel, more to offer?

Do you deserve exactly what you give.

Flowers, presents, material things,

Are just masks of real feelings,

Feelings some people cannot show,

A thing i’ll never really know,

Why you’d spend you life besides

A person who has no eyes

To see what you really are worth,

To see what feelings you can give birth.

It’s weird i’m writing this for you

And now you’re reading it,

My wish has probably come true.

Hopefully sitting next to me

Smiling, feeling a beat

And another, harder…

You’ll think it’s silly, or maybe sweet

You’ll find it romantic, your heart might skip a beat

But i can say, that now you’re here

I’ll make the best of it, with no fear.

Cause i feel i can, i want and will,

To offer you a chance to feel

To feel you’re special great and true

You to me and me to you…

Wednesday 10.09.19
Posted by Thomas Gheorghiu
 

Scars

Twinkle, twinkle little scar,

Pain and hurt, that’s what you are.

A memory of something bad,

Of that someone who made me sad,

Made me twitch really deep inside,

Felt little butterflies, but slowly died.

Died because they had no air,

Died because you weren’t there,

Died without even knowing why,

But now is not the time to cry.

Moving on, not holding back,

I know I’m not really on your track,

Different times we met in life,

Brought us to this moment of strife.

Feeling hard,

Feeling heavy,

Feeling light,

Feeling ready.

Ready to take the next steps alone,

Going back to an empty home,

Opening to a quiet house,

Just like Christmas, „not even a mouse”.

But it’s ok, you know I’m strong,

You know i’ll manage to get along,

You know the most that i’ll be OK,

Looking at tomorrow as a brand new day.

Wednesday 10.09.19
Posted by Thomas Gheorghiu
 

Time to Feel

Twisted times, messed up addictions,

Thinking it’s up to your little frictions,

Of a little tale of joy,

Thinking about your time as a boy,

Up in the streets, down in the blocks,

Wondering how you got into these hard knocks,

Blinking away, watching time go,

End up grey, battered and with a wife you call a hoe.

That’s life, no music in my head,

Life baby, it ain’t like the stories said.

Snow white, princes, happy endings with a flower,

Fuck that shit, this life is sour.

It eats you from inside,

It fucks your mind,

You sell you soul from the day your born,

You end up learning that your youth is torn,

Into little pieces of things you could,

Should,

Would have done,

If you were the dad of this little son,

That looked down to him only to see,

A young man, someone who might be,

More than just a life living in content,

More than a life who thinks his time is spent.

You open your eyes, but still all is black,

You try to move forward, but somethings pulling you back,

Turn around, there nothing to see,

You try another step, but it just won’t let you be,

Cause that’s life, it fucks you up,

But man was never made to give up,

It’s in our nature to take this shit,

That shit,

Their shit,

You hate it!

Time is up, just think about it,

Live life, love, dream, don’t just sit,

Cry, complain and reminisce

Think of all the things you’ve missed.

Time, that’s all you need to know,

Today, tomorrow, shine! Its your show,

Cause life is your stage, your playin’ first fiddle,

It’s easy, there is no riddle,

Do what you love, live for a reason,

Do it your whole life, not just for a season.

Wednesday 10.09.19
Posted by Thomas Gheorghiu